Misplaced
by GrathLongfletch
Summary: Collab with Arashi Kanashimi. What happens when the Akatsuki find themselves stuck in a strange world, where they're just fictional characters and have no idea how to get back? What's worse, Naruto and co get sucked in as well! Did I mention that they end up getting bossed around by a manga artist, laundromat assistant, and a chick that works in a comic store? T for Hidan's mouth.
1. Prologue

**Hey! Second Naruto fic- whoop, whoop! Collab with Arashi Kanashimi (^.^). Yay! I'll update Roadtrips Sucks when I don't have so much/many projects, this was just written at school, then typed very quickly at home. Hope you enjoy! At least you'll get a taste of what South Africa's like! And my description might be a teensy bit off, since I haven't been to Kirstenbosch for a long time. And in this version, Sasori is still alive and kicking.**

**No one's POV**

The night was as silent as it could be, all life was asleep, aside from the nocturnals there was no other sign of lif-

CRASH!

"MOTHERFUCKING MONEYWHORE! GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

Scratch that, everything was awake now.

"SHHHH! TOBI SEES SOMETHING!"

"Tobi, that's a tree un. AND YOU'RE SITTING ON ME, YEAH!"

"SORRY SENPAI!"

"Tobi, he's right there, no need to shout," a calm, stoic voice murmured.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, WOODY!"

"Hidan, do you like being able to walk?" a pause.

"Maybe," scuttling could be heard.

"The hell was that?"

"Aaaaaah chooo!" a burst of flames appeared, causing the mass of bodies to scramble away from them.

"Great, now Ita-chan's got a cold," a voice huffed.

"What did you call me?" a nasally voice snarled.

"The fool said nothing, now let's get a move on. We have to find Sir Leader," one of the figures stood up, and walked out of the trees.

The crescent moon was bright that night, illuminating a figure that had stitches at every joint, green eyes with red pupils and irises, tanned skin, with a mask covering the top half of his face as well as a separate piece of cloth for the top of his head along with a black cloak with red clouds on it, socks and sandals.

"Kakuzu, watcha see old man?"

"It seems we have landed in a meadow of some sort," the figure-now identified as Kakuzu replied.

"A LAKE!" another figure, wearing an identical cloak and an orange mask with one eyehole, made a dash for the water body, only to be stopped by a very angry blonde.

"Do you want them to find us, yeah?" he snarled at the man.

"Tobi's sorry Sempai. Owww! That hurt!" Tobi whined after being hit over the head.

"Shhhh!" shark-resembling man walked into the clearing next.

He was sporting huge bandaged sword, strapped to his back, sock and sandals along with the fact that he had three gills under each eye and blue skin. He was also wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it. He held a frown at the two, then glanced down at the singed earth.

"Itachi, you burned the lawn," the man tutted.

"Sorry Kisame, but this cold came out of nowhere," a man with red eyes and long, black hair stood next to him.

A blur of white, black and red zoomed out of the cover of the trees and zig-zagged towards the lake, a stream of obscenities following it. The screams ended, however, when it fell straight into the water. Chuckling could be heard as a red-headed boy looking the age of sixteen appeared at the bank.

"That'll teach you, Hidan," he smirked as said person resurfaced, spouting out water like a fountain.

"Shut it Woody!" the boy glared at him.

"It's Sasori baka!"

Tobi turned to Kisame, a question mark appearing above his head.

"How do you know it's a lawn?"

"You see, there're huts down there," he pointed to a row of huts at the bottom of the hill.

"Oh! Sempai! Let's go see the huts!" Tobi proceeded to drag a murderous blonde down the hill at an alarming pace, only to end up tripping and rolling the rest of the way down.

"Tobi you baka! We need Dei in one peace!" Kisame called out with a laugh at the tangle of limbs at the bottom.

Deidara growled as Tobi tried to untangle himself, but only managed to end up in random positions. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and separated the two, watching with amusement as Tobi was mercilessly bombed into the ground. Sasori shook his head and continued into one of the huts, only to jump back as something lunged at him, causing Hidan to snigger.

"Woody afraid of a fucking ferret?" he taunted.

"Dipshit, that's not a ferret," came a cold reply.

They all froze as they heard the well known "aaaaahhhh" and scattered before another column of flame streaked towards the huts after the "choo!" They all stared as the rest of the huts started to catch, and followed the already moving blonde in the opposite direction.

"I'm not gonna get blamed for that un!" he hopped op into the trees before speeding off with the rest of them on his tail in single-file.

They ran for another 2 minutes before they ran out of trees, Dei screeched to a stop, holding out his arms to prevent the others from jumping out of their cover. The others came to a stand still as they spotted strange red and blue lights going off into the distance. Beams of light searched the area, showing them that there were a huge flight of steps up onto the next hill.

They all observed this with mild interest when Tobi, lagging behind, crashed into Kisame at full force, causing a domino effect as each member fell out of their hiding spot one after the other. The tangle of bodies let out a groan as lights were directed their way.

"Tobi-you FUCKING IDIOT!" Hidan fumed as figures started surrounding them.

"Now we actually have to fight! And I just got this cloak fixed!"

"Halt!" a clicking sound was heard.

"Tobi sorry!" he rushed to their aid and started untangling them.

Just as he got Kakuzu out of the mess, a Venus flytrap emerged from the ground. The figure stood up, revealing two yellow eyes and half of his body white, the other black. He was wearing the exact same cloak as the other 8.

"Wat op aarde is dat!?"**(what on earth is that?!) **a person screamed.

That resulted in half of the squad firing at the plant, and the other half running away.

"Nice timing Zetsu!" Kisame remarked sarcastically.

'What on earth are, **you guys even doing**?" Zetsu raised an eyebrow before sinking back into the ground, effectively avoiding the bullets.

Kakuzu quickly dispatched the entire police force and strode towards the stairs, quickly followed by the rest and started his ascent. The others quickly caught up to him, not wanting to have to search for the elder member. Tobi bounded past Kakuzu and onto the cobbled square where shops bordered the left side, a botanical garden on the right. Zetsu rose up in front of some lavender.

"I think I like it here," he sniffed the plant.

**So what you think? Kanashimi will do the next chapter, and then we'll alternate. Shall work on RTS and other stories, just wanted to get this down.**

**Me: Soooo?**

**Itachi: I hate you, you gave me a cold. *goes to emo-corner***

**Me: Stop moaning man!**

**Tobi: Tobi like it.**

**Sasori: Of course you do.**

**Me: Who cares? He'll always be a good-annoying-but good boy!**

**Deidara: Review please!**

**Pein: Where am I?**

**Me: Coming, chill dude! I have non patience for your god-complex tonight!**

**Pein: Hmmf! *crosses arms and sulks in emo-corner with Itachi***


	2. Those Awkward Moments When…

**Kanashimi: Hey everyone! This is Arashi Kanashimi here! So here's my first chapter in our collab, hope you enjoy! And remember to favourite, subscribe, review, and visit our profiles so you can stalk us! Enjoy!**

**Grath: St-stalk?**

**Tobi: Sounds like fun!****  
**

Arashi's POV

_"What was that?"  
_

"_Did you see that?"  
_

_"Was that the primary buffer panel?"  
_

_"It did seem to resemble-"  
_

_"Did the primary buffer panel just fall of the gorram ship for no apparent reason?"  
"Looks like."  
_

_"I thought Kaylee just checked the entry codes."  
_

_"Well, if she doesn't give us some flow from the engine room to offset the burnthrough, this landing is going to get pretty interesting."  
_

_"Define interesting."  
_

_"Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die."_

Then there was a loud bang. No, lovely friends: not in the lovely, amazing, incredibly Serenity movie that I'd been watching, but from very much in the real world. I took a moment to savour the possibility of Serenity being a real world in some distant universe, but pushed that thought away as the loud and disturbing….disturbance seemed to be coming my way. I paused Serenity. Now just to get something clear, dear friends, I was not in my house, or Anami's house for that matter. I worked at the neighbourhood comic/video store, or, as Anami likes to maintain, the magical field of comicness. It happened to be my present location, and any trouble for the store ended up being my trouble, so in those few seconds I made a decision. As far as decisions go, it was significantly brave for me. I'd go and investigate the noise, and maybe try and ward off trouble. So it was brave, but also, maybe, I was just a little curious.

In a rather "Mission Impossible-like" way, I peered out from the video store's doorway out into the street. Look left, right and left again, and all that. The coast seemed clear. I took a moment to gather myself, and another one to lock the store door and put up the "closed" sign. I noticed somewhere in the very deepest crevice of my subconscious that the noise had stopped, but I still wanted to see what the hell had been causing it. I stepped out from the video store's sunken doorway, turning as I did so. I stepped on something unstable and soft, and someone gave a cry of pain. I stumbled, trying to not fall over backwards. My effort was unsuccessful, and I tumbled not so gracefully, taking something down with me. I landed on the...whatever-it-was, and in my daze, I noticed it was quite comfy.

"GET OFF ME, YEAH!" a voice yelled in my ear. I looked around and noticed my seat, was in fact, a man. A scary, angry, blonde man.

I hopped off in a flash, causing my seat to groan. I automatically held out my hand to pull him up, and as he reached for it, I froze. The blonde man was wearing an outfit I recognized in an instant.

"You're-you're-" I stuttered as my mind reeled. He was wearing an Akatsuki cloak, and with his long blonde hair and blue eyes, I was pretty certain Deidara, the explosives master of Naruto, was sitting in front of me.

"Hello, un?" he said irritably as I stared. He grabbed my hand and used it to pull himself up. It felt odd, but I was still in shock. And then my mind burst into life.

"Oooooooooooooooooh, you're here for the Comicon right?" I asked, mentally giggling for thinking this could possibly, ever be the real Deidara.

"Of course, I'm so sorry; I actually thought you were the real Deidara. Your cosplaying costume's really good!" I paused. Fake-Deidara was staring at me.

"Uh, and I'm really sorry about knocking you down; there was just a really..uh..loud noise distracting me." Deidara continued to stare at me.

"Um...really sorry again," I said, but now I was aware of exactly how awkward I sounded. My cheeks brightened to a rosy pink.

"Hey, Deidara-sempai! DEIDARA-SEMPAI!" a cheery, annoying voice yelled. To my amazement, a rapidly-moving blur of orange and black seemed to be the source.

I decided it must have been the source of the noise. The blur slowed and materialized a few meters away, and I recognized it as Tobi. Fake-Tobi, I mean.

"Deidara-sempai! Why'd you storm off like that? Is Deidara-sempai mad?" Fake-Tobi asked. Damn, he'd gotten the voice exactly right.  
I found my voice again.

"Um, Tobi-uh-san, that's a really cool costume to-FUDGEBALLS!" Someone had grabbed my shoulder from behind! I shot away, crashing again into Deidara, who I ended up hugging tightly.

"Oh my word... I'm really sorry...again!" I apologised to Deidara, who looked decidedly miffed. I disentangled myself and turned to face the person who'd touched me before-and nearly went back to hugging Deidara.

It was Fake-Kisame, in all his fishy glory. I'd never seen a cosplayer that captured him that well. I mean, seriously! His eyes were more round than oval, and his teeth were all filed to a point. And that sharky grin-oh geez, it was freaky!

"Sorry, if I scared you," he said, smiling. And he didn't sound sorry.

"Oh, don't worry about it," my voice came out as a squeaking whisper.

"Goo-" Fake-Kisame began, but was interrupted.

"YOU COMPLETE FUCKING BITCH! You just rushed off, and left me standing there! I had to LOOK FOR YOU, LIKE A FFUCKING MORON!" I cringed as the man who needed no introduction walked up to the group. Fake-Hidan, of course.

He looked, well, pretty hot. He was shirtless, and his purple eyes burned with anger.

"Wow, so you guys are role-playing too? Like larping or something? That's cool," I mused. They all stared at me again.

"Who's this bitch?" Fake-Hidan asked grumpily.

"She was hugging Deidara..." Fake-Kisame said, still grinning.

"Is she Deidara-sempai's girlfriend?" Fake-Tobi asked.

"What, no! She pushed me over!" Fake-Deidara yelled.

"Ooh! Deidara-sempai liiiiiiiiiiiikes her, he wants to maaaaaaaarry her, he wants to-"

"Tobi," Fake-Deidara's voice was strained.

"Say one more word, and I'll end you."

"-to loooooooooove her!"

"THAT'S IT! IT'S THE END OF THE ROAD FOR YOU!" Fake-Deidara stuffed his hand into his hipbag, where the real Deidara would have kept his clay. And he pulled some actual clay out.

Wow, so much detail in his costume. And then it disappeared into one of his hand-mouths. Was that even possible? How obsessed were these guys with Naruto? Fake-Tobi had already gone running, terrified as the real Tobi would have been. Fake-Deidara held out a hand under the one that'd...eaten the clay. I still couldn't wrap my mind round how that was possible. He removed his hand-mouth hamd, and then in the other, was a small clay bird. Ok, now this was...Before I could finish my trail of thought, the bird took off and flew after Tobi.

"KATSU!" Deidara yelled. A blossom of fire exploded from the bird, sending Tobi sky-high.

Oh. So that was real then. How nice.

**Second chap, done! What you think?**

**Kanashimi: Please, once again, review ^^**

**Grath: I wonder what trouble Anami's gonna get into?**

**Kanashimi: Who knows?**


	3. My secret lair

**Hiiiii!**

**Me: Next chappie!**

**Deidara: Took you long enough, un!**

**Me: Shut, up yeah!**

**Deidara: Don't you mock me!**

**Me: Glad I don't own you guys.**

**Deidara: So what, un? You gonna go to the lame protagonists?**

**Me: Screw them! Except Kakashi, he's awesome.**

**Deidara: The shit tore off my arm!**

**Me: So what, un?**

**Anami's POV**

"I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!" I sang as I skateboarded down the sidewalk, almost knocking everything over in my path.

At least I didn't hit ant trashcans, though the people might want me beheaded now… Oh wells, I lived my life right? The pavement's narrow anyway, so it's not entirely my fault. I continued singing Jack Sparrow's song until I knocked someone else over. And he didn't just allow me to get up and run away like I did the last 20 times.

"Sorry!" I squeak as he lifted me up by the back of my shirt. I glanced down at the familiar cloak.

"Omiguured! You're here for the Comiccon! Konnichiwa!" he looked at me strangely.

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"The comicon Dipshit, that's why you're dressed up as Kakuzu, right?" He stared at me blankly before dropping me on my ass.

I glared at him for a while before spotting the number 1 of my favourite characters. I zoomed towards him before scooping him up in a bear hug.

"ZOMG! SASSY!" I must have given him a fright since he tensed up and eyed me warily.

"Let go of me child!" he said through gritted teeth.

"ONE more minute of Sassy huggy time!" I crushed him some more before letting go-and had a mini heart attack when I saw his tail thingy.

"How the fuck did you get that thing to move? Zetsy!" I hugged my other fave, him staring down at me while I gave him a hug and emitted a shrill shriek.

"What are, **you doing?**" he questioned me.

"Hugging you people before you get a restraining order," that's the thing about me, I'm more than crazy. This is normal behaviour from me, hugging strangers on the side walk because I can.

"Where did you get this? I want this too!" I poked the Venus flytrap.

"**Can we eat her? **No!" I smiled.

"So? You guys are Larping? My friend larps, she says it's fun. But the only person I can really larp as is Kakuzu, since you hardly see what he looks like anyway," I sighed, it's no fun cosplaying when you're black, it doesn't work.

"….What are you going on about?" Kakuzu said.

"I think she's mad," Sasori said, eyeing me carefully.

"**Again, can I eat her?**" I rolled my eyes.

"Why on earth would you want to eat me? Unless Pein has allowed you to eat anyone you meet. Hehehe! You see? I made a joke. Pein, cause you're Zetsu. Hehehehehe. Why aren't you laughing? It's a funny Narutard original joke! Crap, why are you looking at me like that?" I glanced at their faces, not pleased with the look they were giving me.

"How do you know about Leader-sama?" Sasori asked, tail poised.

"Oh wow, I think that's real, shit. Don't kill me! I can tell you where the rest of you teammates are! I know where Pein-sama is!" Kakuzu looked at me sceptically.

"How do we know you're not lying through your teeth?" Think!

"How do you know I'm not?" hah! Got you there. Now I'm in deep shit if I can't find Pein. Should've taken the bus today. Should've listened to Kanashimi. Hate it when that chick's always right.

"Hn," shit. I'd know that from anywhere. Turning my head slowly, I stared at the one and only, Uchiha Itachi.

"H-hi Itachi-sama, how is your sight these days?" He raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Your eyesight, ya know, your sight gets worse everytime you use the Sharingan? Hehe. Is Orochimaru dead yet? And is Tobi a member yet? Oops, I think I said too much…" I shrank back at his stare.

"Please don't Tsukiyomi me, I beg you. I'll even call you Danna for the rest of the time if you want? Just don't Tsukiyomi me…." he raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I want to be called Danna?" I huffed.

"Because of your Sharingan awesomeness. And I'll call you Danna too Sasori, since Dei already does…." I glanced at Sasori, blinked in return.

"Fine, you may call us Danna, if you really want to. Just lead us to-aaaaaah!" Kakuzu jerked me out of the way of a giant fireball. Wow.

"I can get you something for that cold too. Never knew you got sick..." I glanced at Itachi.

He waved his hand, signalling Kakuzu to put me down. I smiled weakly before picking up my skateboard, turning my back on my precious Comicon, and made my way to the magical field of comicness. My happy place, where the most wonderful manga are at. My haven. Anyway, I'll have to go tomorrow, since I'm a bit occupied at the moment. I feel so awkward being followed by Akatsuki members. I should be happy, my dream of meeting them has come true, but I didn't think getting held up by tail-point was part of it. Ah well.

"Where are we going?" Zetsu asked.

"To the magical field of awesomeness," I answered seriously.

"What?"

"My friend's workplace that doubles as, the magical field of awesomeness!" I answered, throwing my arms up in the air.

"No, seriously," Kakuzu interjected.

"My secret lair."

"Oh, okay."

**So what you think?**

**Deidara: Crap, un.**

**Me: I didn't ask you!**

**Sasori: Please review.**

**Me: Byes! 3**


	4. Into That Magical Place

**Woot-woot! Holidays!**

**Me: 6 weeks of freedom!**

**Grath: Yay!**

**Me: And I enjoyed the last part of this chappie!**

**Chapter 3: Into That Magical Place**

**Kanashimi's POV**

Try not to freak out; try to ignore the fact you have a very real and very evil group of villains surrounding you. I shuddered. It was not possible.

"Um, excuse me for a second," I said, a smile fixed to my face as said evil villains eyed me suspiciously. As I turned around, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I burst into a jump, waving my arms in small circles.

"SQUEE!" I whisper-screamed. You know, it was one of those screams that are so high they just can't come out loud. You ever tried it?

I then fell to the floor, half-laughing, half-crying. I shot back up again, and composed myself. Me being me, I did have a sort of plan to follow. You just never know when the fabric of reality might tear and let a host of anime characters fall into our world. So I had a plan for that event.

"Right, I'm Kanashimi. Uh, welcome!" I said brightly and stuck out my hand. No one shook it, and I was pretty sure crickets chirped somewhere in the awkward silence that followed. So much for my friendliness.

Finally, Kisame strode forward and took my hand. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I didn't look like a complete idiot. Who'd have thought Kisame would- But he wasn't shaking it. I froze as he took it, brought it to his lips and kissed it. For those lovely viewers who missed that, he kissed it. My hand. My ordinary, nice, clean, non-fishy hand. The cogs of my brain finally began turning again, and I snatched it from his grasp.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled.

"WHO DOES THAT? NO ONE! NO ONE DOES THAT!" Really, have you ever seen someone do that outside of a movie?

I paused. Except, technically, they were from an anime. Did anime have the same unrealistic customs movies did? I thought back to my favourite anime. Well, it wouldn't necessarily work in real life, but I didn't think-

"Where are we, uhn?" Deidara interrupted, and I noticed he looked annoyed, just a little.

Well, dear readers, I know when I'm out of my league. I know when I swim out too deep and the chance that a Great White Shark will come out and eat me begins to increase. So me being obviously sane and normal, you'd expect me to run before Deidara found out exactly where we actually were. Of course, I would, if these were a bunch of robbers, murderers and evil-doers. But these were fictional anime characters from my favourite anime, and so it fell to me to keep them safe, for the sake of anime-lovers everywhere! (At this time, imagining me in a heroic pose, arm uplifted and pointing to the sky, with a huge and cocky grin on my face would be most appropriate.)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It was ten minutes before anyone could get me to move. I'd planned to be heroic and a bit Mary-Sue, but hell, Kisame just had to smirk at me. Seriously, he was freakishly tall and fishy and sharp. Even his hair was spiky! Dear friends and viewers, this is the moment you realise I'm not brave-and that I tend to freeze up completely when I get scared (if the thing I'm scared of is bigger than me. If it isn't, I flick it away.) Well anyways...

"Is Kanashimi-san okay?" Tobi asked, much like a small child.

"Yeah." There was another moment of awkward silence.

"So bitch, where the fuck are we?" Hidan asked chipperly.

"Cape Town," I answered quietly.

"Uhn?"

"Western Cape?"

"What?"

"South Africa?"  
"Kanashimi-san isn't making any sense..."

"Yeah, it was a long shot... Pity Misashi Kishimoto didn't add in an Africa. It would have made this all so much easier." I sighed as the four Akatsuki members stared blankly at me.

"Urgh," I muttered. Those guys weren't going to believe me.

I needed to find some way to prove to them that they were fictional here. Then it hit me. In a flash, I had the video store's door unlocked again, and I ushered them in. I locked the door behind me. It wasn't like I needed any ordinary people coming in.

"What the ** is this?" Hidan yelled. He had a DVD case open, and was trying to extract the DVD from it. He finally got it out, and flicked it at Kisame.

The disc hit him on the forehead, leaving a rather odd dark blue line-shaped mark. I couldn't stifle a small giggle. Kisame glared at Hidan, grabbed his own disc ("Planet of the Apes", I think) and chucked it at Hidan. It missed, hitting Deidara instead.

"What was that for, uhn?!" he shouted angrily.

"I will avenge you Deidara-sempai!" Tobi cried, grabbing a handful of bargain discs. I realised this was about to become the first ever DVD fight. Oh brilliant.

A disc whizzed past me, and I instinctively ducked behind the nearby counter. I knew the disc I needed was somewhere around there, and my frantic rummaging for it tripled in speed as Kisame stopped using discs and began using his sword. Not good.  
There was the harmonious crash of something breaking, followed by a quartet or so of screams. Fudge.

**Review please!**

**Me: Nanananaaaaaa!**

**Grath: BATMAN!**


	5. Taxi trouble

**I'm baaaaack!**

**Me: Sports day!**

**Kanashimi: And then only 3 more days of school!**

**Me: Yeeep! Ad I don't own anything!**

**Anami POV**

This is both exciting and awkward. Sassy was watching my like a hawk while holding me at tail-point, Kakazu was glaring at the high-looking prices in the shops (since he doesn't know the actual price since it's not in his currency) and Itachi just stared blankly ahead. Zetsu just kept looking at people hungrily, which got us a few weird looks. We were only 40 minutes away. And I was talking so that I-we didn't have to walk in silence.

"Oh and the moving technology on the roads are cars," a combie* swerved around a few cars-almost causing an accident.

They all looked at me; it's scary when they stare.

"Those are called taxis; they take people to where they go at a price. Not all of them drive like that. Hehe," I rubbed the back of my head.

We crossed the roads pretty fine; jay-walking is excellent when you need to get across quickly. They all thought it was weird, seeing cosplayers walking towards my precious comicon. Now that I think about it, they would've rocked the competitions! It would be awesome! I guess it would be funny if they had an all out war with Team 7. That would rock! But I also wonder how it would go if they did it in the city….and what it Hana doing at this moment? Maybe a quick little-no! They will probably murder me in blind-no, all the reckless ones are somewhere else, hopefully.

So we trekked on-and then I just HAD to go to this bookshop for Mark Of Athena cause it just came out. So I had 4 S-ranked ninjas hovering behind me like body-guards (and glaring at anyone who passed) while I cheerfully ignored them while hunting for my book. I also got the latest Power of 5 book for the hell of it. They weren't pleased because I also checked out the other books in the teen section-it was a two-story bookshop. I finally paid and left with my books because Sasori threatened to torture me if I continued to keep him waiting. It also appears that I've now been ranked minion on the Great Ninja Scale! I do not like being called a minion!

So I quickly paid and high-tailed it outta there with a now grumpy Sasori and indifferent Itachi, Zetsu and Kakuzu-who has now resorted to picking up money from the sidewalk with his tentacles-which is creepy. A lot of people gave us a wide berth after seeing the tentacles. I wasn't really bothered-I already get treated like that because of my skateboarding tendencies. Anyway! We continued on our way while trying to be normal-key word "trying"- Zetsu started to get hungry and almost gnawed some kid's arm off, we will DEFINITELY be getting a restraining order-IF they can find us. So I ran away while they tried to capture me again-my sprint lasted all but 10 seconds before Kakazu caught me and tried to slit my throat for making him drop a R5-tch. Itachi saved me by saying that they couldn't kill me before they found Pein and said that he could kill me afterwards. Yay.

"Don't say that in front of me dammit!" I shook my fist at him before being dropped on my head.

"Oh and Kakazu? No tentacles-they're not normal here," so to get my revenge on Itachi saying all of those mean things-I bought him sunglasses and a white walking stick-told him that it was completely normal.

Ended up buying things for the others too-Sasori a watch (which he know irritates me about time since I told him how it worked), Kakazu a savings account (he was ecstatic that you get more money by not using your current amount0 and Zetsu a random burger from KFC (he loved it). The trouble was when we had to use a taxi-none of them wanted to get on.

"But why not?" I whined.

"Because there's a slight chance we might die," Itachi droned.

"And I'm not paying a cent!" Kakazu crossed his arms.

"I just don't trust that thing," was Sassy's reply.

"I can't promise you **that I won't eat them**," Zetsu said.

"Itachi-Danna-I've been in one it's safe, Kakazu-I'm paying, Sasori-Danna, we'll get there faster and Zetsu-you'll sit at the back with me," Kakazu and Sassy got in, impatience and greed winning the argument-Itachi still stared.

"No."

"Itachi-Danna, it will only take 5 minutes to get to where I want to be, walking will take way longer!" he just stared.

"No."

"I'll make you dango!" he stared for 5 more seconds before climbing in after the other two. Problem solved!

I danced a bit in my mind while joining the others with Zetsu following, it was awkward having to sit next to him for 5 minutes-at least I had enough money! We finally got let off and continued our journey to the end of the street. Hopefully Arashi is still there, maybe I can see if the new One Piece manga came out yet. Pirates forever! Anyway, we finally reached the shop and the first thing I saw when opening the door was Kisame trying to slice me in half. After emitting a strangled yelp before jumping behind a bored-looking Sasori-who blocked with his tail.

"Dafaq?!" I screamed as Arashi ran past the door to intercept Tobi from stepping on the other mangas and DVDs lying around.

After the shock wore off, I stormed into my haven and socked the first person I saw in the face-Deidara wasn't amused. Itachi and the rest strolled in and assessed the situation.

"What are those cases?" was the first thing Sasori asked.

"My babies! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" I screamed to no one in particular-then started to pick up the DVDs and put them back into their designated places after shoving my books into Itachi's arms.

Arashi looked flustered as Tobi cocked his head and looked at me while Kisame attacked Deidara again. Zetsu walked off to look at the remaining mangas on the shelf. Itachi stared blankly while Kakazu discovered-and was now raiding-the poor cash register. Sasori just stared at the cracked DVDs before looking at Arashi.

"What the hell happened here?"

"ZOMG! IT'S THE REST OF YOU GUYS!" she squeed again as they all stared at her.

"Where did you find them?" she grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"KAMI DAMMIT WOMAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M FUCKING BUSY?" she paled a bit.

"Sorry! It's just uh….didyouseewhereHidanwentcause Ididntseehimleave!" I blinked.

"Umm, Hidan's here?" she nodded.

"As in, here here?" another nod.

"…Shit."

**Done! What you think?**

**Me: Yay!**

**Kanashimi: Please review!**

**Itachi: Yu are mean…..**

**Hidan: Where am I?**

**Me: Have no idea!**


	6. Have You Seen a Punk Ginger?

**Kanashimi:** **Yay, he finally got off! And um, I don't have Microsoft Word anymore (we upgraded from Windows XP to Windows 8) so I don't have spellcheck...So there will probs be a heck of a lot of mistakes...****  
**

**Chapter 5: ****  
**

'Utter chaos' was pretty much the only phrase that worked. Yeah, let's go with that.

My beautiful store was in utter chaos. And I couldn't say I was entirely unhappy about it. Besides, I was pretty sure Kisame and Deidara would run out of things to break soon. The others were just watching now, and Anami was making sure Tobi didn't go back into the fight, which involved holding on to him as he tried to skip.

Yep, that's awkward.

I went back behind my counter and started searching again for what I needed. I found it tucked away in one of those big DVD files the shops get for old anime DVDs. What can I say, anime isn't very popular in Cape Town. So dear viewers, I'm sure you've figured the name of the DVD out by now. No? Well, hold onto your pants.  
I brandished my precious Naruto DVD triumphantly.

"I've found it!" I exclaimed happily. All I got was a blank stare from Itachi, as everyone else ignored me.

"Bunch of meanies," I muttered. Oh well, I'd play it anyway and see. I scrambled over the broken DVDs to the DVD player.

You know, the one connected to the TV in the wall that some DVD stores have. I put the DVD in the player and pressed "Play". It was my moment; I was victorious!  
It took a few seconds to realise no one was watching the Naruto DVD.

"Well, if that's the way you want to play it..." I said crossly and reached back behind the counter.

At this point I should probably explain: I don't shout at strange people. It doesn't work. I have one of those voices that, no matter how hard I try, just blend into the background like a whisp of cloud. I mean seriously, who notices a tiny fleck of cloud?  
What I pulled out from behind the counter was quite an elegant cylinderical shape. It shined silver even in the low light of the DVD store. It had a couple of buttons on it, and a beautiful blue bubble thing on the end. I walked to the very center of the room and held it skywards. I pushed one of the buttons and the cylinder extended. The second button I pressed made my device's blue thing light up and it emitted a piercing buzz. Yes, dear friends, I had a sonic screwdriver-well a model of one.  
Everyone froze, except Itachi. He was kind of not moving anyway, so he didn't count.

"Thank you," I said, puttiing my sonic down.

"Now focus your attention on that TV, and please don't go within two meters of it or break it. Thanks." And they watched. To be precise, it was the scene where an armless Deidara strangled Tobi with his legs.

Deidara blushed as the rest of the Akatsuki snickered. Tobi subconciously felt his neck.

"I never knew you were so...determined, Deidara," Kisame giggled. Deidara raised a hand.

"I WILL kill you Kisame, uhn!" Deidara warned, voice betraying exactly how embarrassed and angry he was.

I paused the video after the scene. "You see guys, here, you're just a TV show and a manga to us. There is no Konoha or Akatsuki in our world!"

"Bullshit."

"Then how did we get here?" Sasori asked.

"It was probably a hole in the fabric of reality. Or maybe the Akatsuki fans in this world stared at a mysterious symbol for hours on end that honed their desire for you to exist to the point where it created you," I guessed. I got a few curious stares.

"I work in a DVD store, okay? I watch a lot of stuff."

After the showing of the Naruto anime, a long and quite boring discussion followed, involving Anami, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori and me. To summarise the contents of said boring conversation, we decided to go look for Pein and Konan by splitting up into three groups, each group containing at least one relatively sane person. Hidan, Deidara and I were in a group. Tobi, Kisame and Itachi were in another. The third was Anami, Sasori, Kakuzu and Zetsu.

I was in raptures. After all, I was going to be with my two favourite Akatsuki members. But I pocketed my sonic screwdriver anyway, just in case. It was good for getting people's attention. I guess it was also good for giving people a whack over the head. Let's just say Kisame and Deidara didn't escape fully unscathed after they utterly destroyed my shop.

After a quick DVD clean-up, I locked up shop and the groups separated to search. I had no idea that when we'd next see each other, it would be during a full-scale massacre. More on that later, so stay tuned.

**Grath: YAY! I get Sassy!**

**Kanashimi: Thank your lucky stars he isn't here to hear that.**

**Grath: Review please!**


	7. Favourite Chibi

**H****ey! My turn again X3**

**Me: School's back!**

**Kanashimi: And obviously you'll now get back into ff…..**

**Me: OI! My holidays were spent with me boarding at my friend's and visiting you!**

**Anami POV**

Yayayayayayayayayayayayay! I get to search for a fictional cool character with my Sassy! He's so short it's sooo cute! I could use him as a tabl-

"Stop staring at me like that please, it's creepy," Sasori glanced my way.

"Sorry," I lied, mwahahahahaaaaaaaa!

"Are there any ways that we could make some money?" Kakazu asked.

"Welll, you could work at Clicks?" I got blank stares.

"It's a shop…..OH! LOOK THERE'S MY FAVOURITE CHIBI!" I rushed off to glomp my favourite smaller person-Haruka.

She lives with us and works at a Laundromat. She's just as anime crazy as the rest of us. She also owns the complete set of Naruto Shippuden episodes. Yes I know-I've ruined her.

"Anami! Weren't you heading towards the comicon? And where's your skateboard?' she raised an eyebrow.

"Did you break it aga-" she stared at my entourage.

"Anami, who are they?" I giggled.

"The Akatsuki!" a pause.

"Bwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa! That's a funny joke!-They're not complete," she finished, deadpanned.

"The others are somewhere else, and they're the real deal!"

Haruka shook her head.

"That can't be true, it's impossible. There's no such thing unless they created a dimension jump jutsu. Which would be redundant since they just want to rule their world, so they're really good cos-"

I opened Sassy's cloak to show her his body.

"OMG! AKATSUKIIIIIIII" she glomped him.

"Brat, you are in trouble when we get back to your base," Sasori threatened me.

Well shit, there goes my Naruto battle against Kanashimi…Hey wait, where's Zetsu?

"Guys, where's Zetsu?" Kakazu and the others shrugged.

"He said something about getting money or something similar to that," I facepalmed. Trust Kakazu to blank out when someone says the magic word…

Oh well, how hard can it be to look for a giant Venus fly-trap eh? Just follow the screams! I pointed into the sky.

"Let's go Toto!" and I grabbed Haruka by the arm and started dragging her down the street, calling out Zetsu as we went.

"No way I'm your damned dog girl!" she snarled.

I laughed as we continued on our search, it's surprising that you could actually lose a bipolar plant in a cloak, no screaming either! It was 10 minutes later of us looking for him (I was NOT letting us separate since then we'll be in even more crap if they get lost….) Anyway, I realised that he might have just migrated-yes MIGRATED-to one of the florists, ehehehehehehe-there was one where we met chibi. Which was…..eh I forgot! Mehehehehe…crap. Anyhoo! Just act like you know what you're doing.

"I know where we're going!" they gave me knowing looks.

"You do realise that we've walked in circles for FIVE minutes now right?" Kakazu said deadpanned.

"YES! NO! MAYBE!" I rushed down a familiar street-nearly l got ridden over by a taxi and found myself outside of our meeting-with-chibi-place, phew!

"In here!" I rushed inside and was met with confused faces as there was no sign of the plant or flowers-dammit!

"Sorry! Wrong shop!" I rushed out and entered the next shop, to find Zetsu chatting up a Venus Flytrap in the shady corner.

"BAD ZETSU!" I rushed over and dragged him out-hopefully they will just tolerate my disrespect…

"**I think we should just eat her-**no, she will take us to leader," I started to get nervous when he started drooling….

"Nyehahahah! Let's go get some barbecue,," I grabbed his? Their? Arm before forcefully removing him from the shop to continue our little misadventure.

Haruka had her arms crossed, trying to act like she wasn't going all fangirl on the inside while I tried to avoid looking at Itachi's shiny hair or how short Sassy was, I should never say that to him or I will expire. Hmm, that's a nice way of putting it! Anyway, our band of random misfits were roaming around when I decided that we should check a mall. I then made them sit on a couple buses for an hour to reach the Waterfront. Upon our arrival at the mega mall, I then raced away to go to the bookshop. Kakazu went one way with money signs for eyes, Zetsu stopped at the entrance talking to the plants, Sasori followed my along with Haruka and Itachi. After 10 minutes of going up and down escalators, stairs and going in circles, Haruka grabbed my hand and lead me to my favourite bookstore.

"Why are we at a bookstore when we are looking for Sir Leader?" Itachi asked, gazing at the many bookshelves.

"Just need my drugs!" I shouted before running over to the manga section, picking up the first few Naruto Shippuden volumes.

"Kay, got them!" I ran to pay as Sasori glared at me and Haruka tapped her foot.

After paying for my babies I rushed out to "search" for any clues on where that pain Pein might be. Hehe, I made a whatchermacallit! A pun! Anyway, I rushed off to BT games and had a mini break down when I found out that the only One Piece game there was Nintendo 3Ds, who the hell even has those here!? After glaring at the games spitefully for a while, I ran out again, picking up Itachi and co. ten stopped by the bank to prevent Kakazu from stealing everything. Zetsu was still at the entrance after we did another round of the mall and we took to roaming the streets aimlessly for another few hours. Exhausted, I herded them onto a train-it was faster- and we walked back the "Secret lair" to drop off my stuff.

"Do you want to continue searching?" I asked as I looked at my newly purchased nerf gun.

"I would like to find Leader as soon as possible so that we could leave this strange place," Sasori said boredly.

"You only want to leave because you don't know how the automatic doors work," I said smugly.

"Say that again?" he said, pointing his tail at me.

"Ummmm, I'll go make you some Chain ne? Be right back!" I ran into the tiny kitchen to make some tea-and forgot that that was on the shopping list next to the phone.

Oops…. Oh well, I'll give them normal tea, make it more milky then usual and hope they don't notice…. I could hear Haruka making small talk with Kakazu about her job and how much she gets paid for it. I wonder where Kanashimi is at this stage? Hopefully she can control the hyped up ones as well as Deidei and Tobi in the same group. O gosh….. where is the tea?

"Hey Anami! Did you forget where the tea was?" Haruka said teasingly.

"Urasei!" I shouted with a blush of embarrassment.

**Sorry about long delay, getting sorted for start if the year, lost of homework, projects and such. And then I also get distracted…..**

**Me: Urasei, shut up in Japanese.**

**Haruka: That's right, sling me into your awesome mess!**

**Me: Dude, I'm cool like that!**


	8. A purple-haired Leader riding a pink pon

**Helloz**

**Me: Lol, I liked this one!**

**Deidara: Sure un…..**

**ME: Oh Shurrup!**

"Oh, oh god...Deidara-san, what did you do?" I asked.

The burnt remains of the Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens lay before me, fire-fighters still running through the ash to put out some small blazes. I'd decided to backtrack to where the Akatsuki had first fell into our universe, to Kirstenbosch. I'd been hoping it was still in one piece. When we got there of course, an anvil landed on those delicate hopes, smashing them flat.

"This wasn't how we left it, yeah. It must have been Itachi's cold..." Deidara mused, scratching his head.

In front of us, a fire-fighter chucked some water over some smouldering embers.

"I think it looks better now," Hidan added, for once not swearing.

"This used to be the most beautiful place in the whole city. There were flowers and streams and green grass. It was like a giant artwork. Now there's just ash every-bloody-where!" I shot back reproachfully.

"The loss of art, even terrible art, is sad, uhn," Deidara responded. He was a lot more sincere than I'd expected. Good for him.  
"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan ordered.

"Make me, yeah!"

"WE CAN'T FIGHT HERE!"

"YOU'RE JUST SCARED!"

"IF THAT'S HOW YOU FUCKING WANT IT!" Hidan yelled, swinging his scythe at Deidara.

The blonde dodged quickly, and drew out some clay. In a second, his hand-mouths had devoured it, and spat out a little clay bird. I couldn't just let them start fighting, dear readers. Not in front of the general public. But I had no idea how to stop them, except...I did! Of course I did; I'd already used it once before. In a flash, I whipped out my sonic screwdriver and drew my arm back. Hidan and Deidara were constantly moving as they fought, and I stuck out my tongue in concentration as I took aim. They finally slowed, just for a moment, as Hidan tackled Deidara. I swung my arm forward, and threw the sonic screwdriver at them.

It clunked Hidan in the eye.

Oh fudge, I was aiming for Deidara. Hidan shot me a murderous glare, practically crackling with swearwords and blood. Slowly, painfully, I backed away.  
"I...uh...I didn't mean to...you know..." I trailed off under his gaze.

He released Deidara from his arm lock and picked up his scythe.

"Let's...let's just be reasonable about this..." I pleaded.

Hidan walked forward, nearer and nearer to me, still glaring at me with burning purple eyes. Now, my lovely, dear readers, perhaps you could think of a cunning plan to calm Hidan down. Perhaps you could get out of my predicament, but the point is that I couldn't. And as we all know, there's only one thing to do when you can't think of a way out.

"OH MY GOD! LOOK, IT'S LEADER! AND HIS HAIR IS PURPLE AND HE'S RIDING A PINK UNICORN!" I screamed, pointing over Hidan's shoulder.

He turned to look, just for a second, and I took my chance. I ran. Heart racing, I sprinted away. Of course, I hadn't the faintest idea of where to go, but anywhere was better than being near Hidan. For a second, I risked glancing over my shoulder, and nearly fell over from laughter. Hidan was still looking for the purple-haired Leader on the pink unicorn. Failing to see him where I'd pointed, he'd begun searching behind every rock, shrub and fire truck. Make a note, dear readers: Hidan is so gullible, it's the label on his Akatsuki cloak. Deidara was just watching Hidan's efforts, and I could tell he was on the brink of cracking up.

My distraction, which I presumed could work for hours (There were a lot of fire trucks to search!) , was all very well, but I still didn't know where the hell I was going. But it was just a little problem in the grand scheme of things, so I kept running. It only took another minute for my running to become a slow, exhausted walk. Ash had crept into my boots, and I stopped to shake it out. My socks were smeared with the grubby grey powder. I sighed. It was going to be a pain to wash; that was for sure.

Finally, I decided to pay some attention to my surroundings. I had gotten to the edge of the burnt area. There were a few bushes that had escaped the blaze around me, and further on, most of the plants hadn't burned at all. There was also a lake in the distance. I sat down to think. I couldn't go back, at least not until Hidan had forgotten about my sonic hitting him in the eye. My sonic...My stomach lurched as I realised I'd left it behind. We'd been through so much together, me and my screwdriver. We'd suffered the unspeakable horrors of school, internet trolls and Twilight, only to be separated now. I sniffed, and then burst out into a fit of laughter. You know, just to ruin the moment.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a small "poof" sound. I looked up, and suddenly there were four figures in the distance. My eyes watered as I tried to make out the details of their appearance, but I couldn't make anything out. What can I say, I really needed glasses. My mind was whirring. It really didn't take a genius to figure out where those mysterious figures had come from. After all, Kirstenbosch was where the Akatsuki had come to our universe. It was easily possible that more characters had come through the inter-dimensional wormhole. Inter-dimensional wormhole. Yeah, I'd go with that.

The figures moved close to each other, evidently having a conversation. After a few minutes, with me just staring at them, one of the figures left the group and moved towards me. I realised, slowly, that if it was any of the Naruto villains, I was beyond screwed. If it was Sasuke and Team Hebi, I was beyond even beyond screwed. I strained my eyes again as I tried to see who the figure was. I guessed by the size and shape that it was a man. Finally, as it came nearer and nearer, I saw the distinctive grey-green vest of the Konoha ninjas, the mask that covered the bottom half of the figure's face, and above all, the messy, silver hair.  
I almost fainted.

**Done!**

**Me: Thanks for the entertainment Kanashimi!**

**Kanashimi: No probs!**

**Me: Review please!**


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